From the Start Page 13

  Michael covered her hand with his, and used the other to stroke her spine. While the motion seemed to relax her, there was no denying it soothed him as well. And after the evening he’d had, this is what he’d desperately needed.

  For the past year, he’d found himself to be more and more on edge. Ever since he packed his brother onto a medevac, not knowing if he’d survive the plane ride to Germany. And if the anxiety he felt after that wasn’t bad enough, he lost four men and one woman just six months later. The IED blast had done so much damage that even if he’d been standing just out of the blast radius, ready and waiting to treat them, they still wouldn’t have survived. For those five there was nothing he could have done. He knew it. His superiors knew it. Everyone knew it. And yet, he couldn’t help but feeling he’d failed them.

  As a doctor, he’d been trained to deal with matters of life and death. However, the things they taught him in medical school, the things he saw during his residency in Texas, couldn’t prepare him for the things he had seen in Afghanistan.

  And they sure as hell hadn’t prepared him for that one hot afternoon in Mali, when he ripped the clothes from Danny’s near lifeless body.

  His mother’s death had made him want to be a doctor, but it was his brother’s brush with death that had made Michael a little less cynical, a little more caring, and a lot more scared.

  Ever since that day, when someone offered him a hug he held them just a second longer. When he spoke to his father, he was always sure to tell him he loved him before ending the conversation. And now he’d gone and added someone else to that ever-growing list of people he felt responsible for, whom he cared for.

  Kacie mumbled something unintelligible in her sleep and wriggled off him, ending up on her side, facing the edge of the bed with her back pressed against him. He turned to his side, mimicking her position, curling his body around hers. His arm slipped over her waist, and whether she consciously did it or not, Kacie took hold of his hand and held it in hers against her chest.

  Beneath his palm he felt the slow, steady beat of her heart. Once again, he buried his nose in her hair, and the last bits of tension seeped from his body.

  Somehow, in just a matter of weeks, this woman had become extremely important to him, whether she realized it or not. Whether he wanted her to be important to him or not.

  For the first time in a long time, he found someone who soothed his soul and he didn’t know how he’d ever let her go.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Late one Friday afternoon, Michael found himself sitting at his desk in the relative quiet of battalion headquarters staring at the planner laid out in front of him. In two weeks, Battalion Commander Griffin would hand over command of the 1st/75th during Fourth of July celebrations.

  Two months after that, having fulfilled his service obligation to the military Michael would be eligible to resign his commission. Everyone knew the army regarded doctors as a hot commodity, so resigning would be easier said than done. Thankfully, his medical degree combined with combat experience afforded him far more negotiating power than most. If he chose to stay another six years, he would reach his twenty and be eligible to collect his full retirement.

  Griffin hadn’t been wrong when he questioned Michael’s decision to stay in the military; Michael had said more than once he was only going to stay the length of his commission, retirement money be damned.

  But now, Michael felt his decision hinged on whether Danny reenlisted in the next six weeks. If he could convince his brother to leave the army, then he’d be free to move on.

  However, if Danny reenlisted and stayed in 1st Batt, then it was where Michael needed to be.

  It wouldn’t be the first time in his life he changed plans because of his little brother. Within minutes of receiving Danny’s email stating he’d graduated from the Ranger Indoctrination Program, was being assigned to the 1st Batt, and deploying to Iraq within the week, Michael picked up the phone and called his superior, asking what he needed to do to become a battalion surgeon for the 75th. Gone were any thoughts of becoming an oncologist, of simply serving his time at Walter Reed or some other stateside hospital. Every day for the next five years, he prayed to God to keep his little brother safe, at least until he made it to regiment and could take over from there.

  But it would only be a matter of time before the army required him to move up in rank or move out. He’d been fortunate enough to have landed the 75th Regiment gig in the first place, and it was highly unlikely the brass would allow him to retain his position indefinitely.

  Then there was the added wrinkle of his non-relationship with Kacie.

  Although her sister’s wedding was a little over a week away, she had yet to say anything regarding the two of them. Would she end things before or after the wedding? Or would they continue to see each other during her final month Savannah? Truth be told he wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her just yet.

  So many life-changing decisions and he felt he wasn’t in control of any of them.

  Michael grabbed a yellow legal pad, flipped to a clean page, and started a list.

  First, he needed to research career alternatives. If he wasn’t allowed to remain at the 1st/75th, where would he like to go?

  He skipped a few lines down the page and wrote a single word—Kacie.

  If he stayed here, would they be able to manage a long-distance relationship? Would she even consider it? It wasn’t like he could head to North Carolina for the weekend whenever he wanted to. And she likely had work requirements of her own due to her fellowship. Even if they somehow made it work over the next year, he had no idea of her plans beyond that. Did she want to stay in Durham? Did she plan on moving back to Savannah? Or was she open to going wherever the job offers took her?

  Either way, they could find themselves in the exact same position a year from now.

  Maybe things with him and Kacie were a case of wrong place, wrong time. Maybe they just weren’t meant to be.

  His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. He looked up to see his brother standing in the doorway dressed in civilian clothes. Although he looked perfectly fine to the naked eye, Michael couldn’t stop the feelings of panic coursing through him. “Everything okay?”

  “Everything’s fine,” Danny said with a smile. “I’m not interrupting, am I?”

  “Just doing a little paperwork. Nothing urgent.” Michael turned the legal pad facedown on his desk. “What brings you by?”

  With a look of surprise on his face, Danny dropped into one of the chairs on the opposite side of the desk. “Did you not notice the date?”

  Michael looked back at the open calendar on his desk. June 21. He’d been so busy creating a plan of attack for the next several weeks he hadn’t paid any attention. He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t know how it could’ve slipped my mind.”

  “You’re busy. It happens.”

  His brother was kind to give him an out and Michael couldn’t be certain that if the tables were turned he’d be so forgiving. After all, what kind of man forgets his mother’s birthday?

  “Is that your only reason for coming by?”

  “I thought maybe we could go grab a drink.”

  “What about Bree?” For the past eighteen months Danny rarely went anywhere outside of work without his wife.

  “She thought it’d be better if just the two of us went.”

  Michael’s gut warned him this was more than his sister-in-law wanting them to spend some brotherly time together.

  “Give me a few minutes to wrap up a couple of things?”

  Danny rose from his chair. “Meet you at Murphy’s in thirty?”

  “Sounds good.”

  With a nod, he headed out of the office and Michael turned the legal pad back over. He scribbled another note, then underlined it for emphasis.

  He’d spent most of his life without his mother and damn near lost his younger brother. He would do everything in his power to keep Danny safe.

  The
bell above the door gave a cheerful tinkle as Kacie entered the bridal shop. What an amazing difference five weeks made. When she last left this place, she had been swamped by feelings of hurt and jealousy and loneliness. And now as she walked through the door, she felt like a stronger, more confident, far happier version of herself.

  As she stood in the showroom in the midst of all the bridal gowns, it didn’t matter that she wasn’t married herself or engaged or even in a serious relationship. Because Michael, whether he realized it or not, had helped her come to see that a man alone couldn’t bring her happiness. If anything, she needed to be happy with herself in order to make a relationship work.

  “Well hello,” Della said in her syrupy sweet southern drawl. “I was so excited to see you on the schedule today. Are you back for your final fitting?”

  Kacie caught her tone, that subtle way of politely questioning whether the dress would fit.

  “I am pretty sure this will be my final fitting,” she said, unable to contain her happiness. “I even remembered to bring the heels I’ll be wearing.” Kacie gave a little wave with the shoe box in her hand.

  “Excellent. Your dress is already waiting for you.” Della led her to the dressing rooms in the back and directed her to the one with her gown hanging in it. “I’ll just give you a few minutes and then I’ll be back to zip you up.”

  And with a little wink and a smile, off she went, closing the door behind her.

  Kacie dropped her things onto the small padded bench and went about undressing. All the while she stared at the ice blue dress. She’d come to think of as her nemesis these past few weeks, but standing here now, staring it down, she knew without a doubt that not only would the dress fit, it would look fabulous.

  I wish Michael could see me in this dress.

  The thought took her by surprise, because that wasn’t what she and Michael were about.

  For the past month and a half, they’d managed to keep their relationship mostly superficial. Of course there was the morning they ran into each other at the coffee shop and she told him of her future career plans and he shared that his mother died when he was young. Then there was the night he showed up on her doorstep in a raging thunderstorm because he was worried about her. But those occasions were anomalies. For the most part, their conversations generally revolved around brief rundowns of their work day, what kind of food they wanted to order in, and what sexual position they should try next.

  Kacie felt her skin flush warm.

  Okay. So things between them were quite intimate in that sense. He knew just how and where to touch her to make her come completely undone. But at the end of the day, she didn’t really know much about him.

  And yet, if there was one person she’d like to take as a date to Sam’s wedding, it was Michael.

  One, because he wouldn’t allow her to get all mopey about her unmarried status. He wouldn’t let her sit in the corner and watch everyone else have fun. No, he was the kind of guy who’d drag her out into the middle of the dance floor and have everyone watching them by the time the song ended.

  Two, his presence would reduce, if not eliminate, any awkward questions her relatives might have about the breakup with her ex. Having him run interference with all the nosy busybodies would be reason enough to extend an invitation.

  Three, with Michael by her side there would be no pity faces. Because no way could any woman take a look at him and think Kacie had somehow lowered her standards or missed out on something better. As fantastic as he looked in a golf shirt and shorts, she could only imagine how he’d look all dressed up in a suit and tie.

  Or, if he went without a tie, she could peek at the hollow of his throat, lean in close as they danced, and smell the warm scent of his skin.

  Yes, that would be much better. Nice suit. Starched white shirt. Open collar.

  With her mind made up, Kacie went about slipping the dress on over her head, careful to not catch the delicate chiffon on anything for fear of making the fabric run. As she studied her reflection in the mirror, she imagined how people might react to the sight of them. She imagined them on the dance floor, him pulling her close with one hand low on her back and the other holding her hand over his heart.

  A knock on the dressing room door startled her from her daydream. “Are you ready to be zipped up?”

  “Yes, please,” Kacie answered. “Come in.”

  The door swung open and right away Della smiled. “This really is just the most wonderful color on you,” she said while taking hold of the two sides and easing the zipper upward.

  Unlike last time, Kacie could breathe normally. It definitely wasn’t too tight now.

  “So far so good,” Della exclaimed. “It fits you like a glove. Just as it should be. Now let’s check the length.”

  Kacie pulled on her heels and followed Della out to the main room where she stepped onto the raised platform. As she turned in slow circles, Della studied the bottom. “Well, I must say I’m pleased with the results. What do you think?”

  She had never been one to stare at herself in the mirror, but Kacie sure didn’t mind looking now. Because, just as Della had said, the color looked fantastic on her. The sculptured bodice fit snugly, but still allowed her to breathe and move comfortably. The off-the-shoulder piece that draped from front to back, designed as a faux sleeve, accented the dress perfectly. “I think it looks lovely. Please tell the seamstress thank you for all her hard work.”

  Della waved off the compliment. “My dear, the hard work was your part. We have brides and bridesmaids in here all the time saying they’re going to drop that extra ten or fifteen even fifty pounds before their next fitting. And you are the only one in recent memory who actually pulled it off. Not that you had much to lose to begin with.” Having noticed a thread hanging from the hem, Della lowered down to one knee and carefully snipped it off. “But more importantly, you are positively glowing.”

  “You think so?” Kacie studied herself in the mirror.

  “Absolutely,” Della exclaimed as she rose to her feet and clutched her scissors to her chest. “As a matter of fact, I’d say you have the look of a woman in love.”

  Kacie’s stomach dropped and her heart began pounding in her chest.

  It couldn’t be, could it? She hadn’t screwed up and fallen in love with Michael, had she?

  She was happy because she was short-timing at a job that left her unfulfilled. She was happy because she’d just made a deposit on a great place to live in Durham. She was happy because her life was moving toward something instead of just sitting idly, stagnating.

  Michael wasn’t responsible for any of that. Only she was. She made her own happiness.

  Besides, they didn’t really know each other. Aside from that first night at the bar, she’d never spent time with his family. Never met any of his friends. She didn’t know whether he wanted to stay in the military until he retired. She certainly didn’t know if he saw a wife and family in his future.

  As far as she knew he was the consummate bachelor and would continue breaking hearts for years to come. He was just a short-term fling, not the kind of guy she could ever have a future with.

  No, on that note Della had to be wrong.

  Chapter Fifteen

  The waitress placed their order of hot wings and cheese fries in the middle of the table, along with two small plates and a pile of napkins. “Anything else I can get you? Would you like another Guinness?” she asked, directing her questions specifically to Michael.

  “Another round would be great,” he answered.

  The brunette patted his arm, even batted her eyelashes. “I’ll be right back with those.”

  Although he was shoving a handful of fries into his mouth, it wasn’t enough to muffle Danny’s laughter. Of course his brother found it amusing, especially since their waitress hit on him first. Only by putting his wedding ring on full display was he able to get her to stand down.

  Michael piled food onto the small plate, his way of laying claim to it.
They were, after all, brothers first. And no mercy would be shown to Danny if he chose to dawdle instead of eat.

  “Do you ever wonder how different our lives might have been if Mom hadn’t died?”

  Danny’s question came from so far out of left field that Michael actually paused in the act of reaching for a hot wing. His brother wasn’t known for being the introspective type, at least not before he and Bree were married. Just further proof of how their relationship had changed him for the better.

  “Different how?”

  “Would you have become a doctor? Would I have been such a screwup in college? It’s likely Dad would’ve been tougher on me and I wouldn’t have gotten away with a quarter of the shit that I did,” he said with a shrug while shoveling a pile of fries onto his plate. “If so, then Bree and I could have been married ten years and had a couple of kids by now instead of being married one year with zero possibility of kids.”

  It would have been easy to tell his brother that everything happens for a reason. But it was hard to believe the universe was justified in taking their mother away when they were young, or taking away Bree’s ability to have children.

  Committing what their mother once deemed a cardinal sin, Michael placed his elbows on the table while studying his little brother. “Where is all this coming from?”

  “Just lots of decisions I need to make. Do I reenlist? Do I get out?” Danny never looked up from his plate, just pushed the food around with his fork as he talked. “And if I do leave, where do I go? Government work? Private security? It’s not like I have a ton of marketable skills.”

  Michael’s jaw dropped, stunned his brother was even considering, for the first time ever, leaving the military. “I think you have far more skills than you’re giving yourself credit for.”

  Danny shook his head while staring into the bottom of his glass. “Not really. But I might have to figure out something in a hurry.”

  “You’re seriously thinking about not reenlisting?”